A transparent kind of love

But would it set me free
If I dared to let you see
The truth behind the person
That you imagine me to be

Would your arms be open
Or would you walk away
Would the love of Jesus
Be enough to make you stay

Casting Crowns~ Stained Glass Masquerade 

 

First off I don’t claim to have the right answer, nor do I know what the right answer is. The day will come and I will meet Jesus and all the questions and doubts will become known.

  What I do know is this:

 I love God, God loves me.  He has given me a choice in this life, some days I make good choices but many times I make the wrong choice.  There are many questions that will remain unanswered until I meet Him face to face {but will it even matter then}. We are ALL allowed to have an opinion.

With that being said something has been lying on my heart for some time now.

{Freedom of choice}

I have been reading and studying this parenting book called, “Parenting with Love and Logic, by Foster Cline and Jim Fay. 

 It is teaching me a lot about myself and my girls.

As I began taking a closer look at who I am and how I loved and parented my girls I realized my need to control situations was beginning to be detrimental to the way the girls felt loved.  Instead of letting them make mistakes and figure things out for themselves I was doing it for them and beginning to mold them into a little version of me rather than letting them be who they are and having a voice.

(Obviously they're  3 and 1 so there are some limits and boundaries that my husband and I have put in place at this point in their life.  But at some point they will grow up and realize that we have zero control over them.)

I found myself demanding things out of them instead of giving them a choice.

  It wasn’t until I took a step back and looked at the way I was reacting in certain situations that I was able to see how destructive I was becoming.

I want my girls to know they are loved just the way they are, not for the way I want them to be.  That no matter who they become or what they choose they are still loved.  I may not agree with there choice, but I dont want that to determine how I love them.

The sad fact is I was beginning to portray this sick image of a performance kind of love.  

 Of course I love my girls ALL the time, but I found myself showing them that when they behaved the way I wanted them to I loved them even more.

How selfish and close minded!!

I started to recognize it in the way I was relating to my husband, mom, and other close friendships too. 

 I wanted them to love the way I loved, feel the way I felt, and believe the way I believed.   My way was the right way and if they couldn’t see that then they had the problem not me. 

{Honestly I can still find myself trapped in this mindset, but I am grateful that I can see the lie in this way of thinking}

How does God love me?
{Unconditionally thanks to Jesus}

Does He demand me to be a certain way or does He give me the freedom to believe?
{Freedom}

Does He love me despite my constant need to sin and reject His truth?
{Yes}

Am I really loved just where I am or do I need to perform for Him?
{I am REALLY loved right where I am}

The church is made up of Gods people. 

Broken

Seeking truth

Sinful

Hurting

Selfish

Loving

In desperate need to be loved

Flawed

Genesis 1: 27-31

So God created mankind in his own image,
    in the image of God he created them;
    male and female he created them.

God blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky and over every living creature that moves on the ground.”

Then God said, “I give you every seed-bearing plant on the face of the whole earth and every tree that has fruit with seed in it. They will be yours for food.  And to all the beasts of the earth and all the birds in the sky and all the creatures that move along the ground—everything that has the breath of life in it—I give every green plant for food.” And it was so.

 God saw all that he had made, and it was very good. And there was evening, and there was morning—the sixth day.

 Thus the heavens and the earth were completed in all their vast array.

I love knowing that before the fall earth was made perfect. 

 It was complete just as God saw fit.

Beauty radiated from His creation.
This was our home.

I long for this beauty again. 

No shame

Acceptance

No sin

Just beauty

From the beginning we were presented with {Choice}.

God could have protected Adam and Eve and chose for them, but He didn’t. 

 He let them decide for themselves and they chose sin.

So if we believe in God’s Word and Truth then aren’t we all a part of the fall and sinful creatures?

Why is it that we as the church have justified certain sin and rejected others for their sin?

I see a lot of self seeking people at the church I belong to.
I walk by divorcee people every Sunday.  I hear the lies we whisper to each other over coffee.  The gossip about that friend that isn't there. 
  I hear lies whispered quietly.
I disrespect my husband almost daily with my words.
I judge people daily.
I believe God still loves us and we are welcome in the church.

What about the struggling christian homosexual who just wants a place to feel loved and needed, the strung out drug addict who just shot up to block the pain that is too hard to face sober.
The teenager who is struggling because they wanted nothing more than to be pure for marriage but they are now carrying life within their body.

Where do they turn.
Is the church a safe place for them to be heard or are we too busy telling them that there sin is unreachable.
Are we telling them they are unclean and can no longer be loved by our God.

1 Timothy 1:8-11

We know that the law is good if one uses it properly. We also know that the law is made not for the righteous but for lawbreakers and rebels, the ungodly and sinful, the unholy and irreligious, for those who kill their fathers or mothers, for murderers,  for the sexually immoral, for those practicing homosexuality, for slave traders and liars and perjurers—and for whatever else is contrary to the sound doctrine  that conforms to the gospel concerning the glory of the blessed God, which he entrusted to me.

I feel like the church is very good at preaching Gods unfailing love for ALL, yet rejecting the people that need to be loved the most.

Why is this?

When did God’s people become so good at judging others when the only person we should be judging is ourselves?

Romans 2:1

 You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgment on someone else, for at whatever point you judge another, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgment do the same things.

Yes we are supposed to speak truth and stand firm on His truth, but does that mean we should be telling people they don't belong just because they are different?

  We are a nation crying out for truth yet when all we are doing is pointing fingers and condemning others, it is only human nature to want to rebel against it.

Truth + No Love = Rebellion

Grace + No Truth = No Boundaries/Limits {Lost}  

 

Take a child for instance, when you demand them to do it your way and make threats, usually they will rebel or do it out of fear.  But if you offer them a choice in the matter you usually get a better response.  

 We all desire to have a voice and want that voice to be heard.

He has put certain limits and boundaries in place and He hopes we would live a life within these limits, but ultimately doesn’t He give us the choice to live this way or choice another path?

Aren’t we all given {choices} not demands?

I don’t serve a God of demands I serve a God of love and freedom.

I serve a God who allows me to make mistakes and learn from the consequences of my own actions.

My God rescues me from the pit of despair when my judgment is clouded but lets me reap the consequences that put me there.

My God gives me a {choice} to believe Him or reject Him.

Even as a believer who fights for truth I still reject Him.  Not proud of that but it is a part of my fallen nature.

We all long to be loved and accepted it is the way He created us. 

To be able to seek the truth but feel loved questioning the tough stuff. 

I want my people {the church} to stop professing the truth and begin demonstrating and living the truth!

Love the rejected and hurting.

Can we the church stop pointing fingers and instead open up the doors and not be afraid to allow people to question and doubt.
 

 Stand on truth but bleed love and mercy.

Begin letting people choose for themselves knowing that it is their right and even if they don't make a choice that you agree with it is going to be OK because God has already won.

 I stand for His truth and I want everybody reading this to know God loves you right where you are and He is a God of broken people, but it is your choice to believe that or something different.

Will you reject me if I tell you I have doubts? 

Questions that have been left unanswered.

 Even in my desperate search to seek the truth in His word I can be left feeling confused. 
I fail constantly.

 One scripture saying it is wrong, while another says it isn’t my place to judge.  

 Even Gods word can seem to contradict itself at times.

Romans 12:2

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--his good, pleasing and perfect will.

Even in my doubting I want to know that I am seeking after His face.   I want to know that even if I don’t have the answer He still loves me.  I want to be able to allow my mind to move beyond its patterned and self-seeking thinking.

I hate to break it to you but not everyone loves God. 

 There are many out there that reject His truth. 

So why does the church hold unbelievers to the same standard as believers? 

Of course I would love for everyone to believe that Jesus Christ is the truth and the way and to live a life that mirrors His word but it isn't going to happen.  We are not meant for that life here anymore.
We made the fall long ago and we will not see that kind of love and truth until Jesus returns.
I have come to a place where I know it is all going to be OK in the end.

He will reign over ALL

What would happen if we stopped pointing fingers and instead we began mirroring the love He has shown us.

I want His love to be transparent in my life.

 

I want to know His truth for myself but demonstrate His love to others.

I want to live in a place where both grace and truth rule. 

 Not one more than the other but a place where I can feel comfortable believing and speaking Gods word, but offering grace and mercy to unbelievers.  A place where I can say I don’t know the right answer to that question but I know this we are loved despite our sinful nature and sought after even when we doubt.

 I want to live loved. 

Casting Crowns~Jesus Friend of Sinners

1 Timothy 1:12-17

 I thank Christ Jesus our Lord, who has given me strength, that he considered me trustworthy, appointing me to his service.  Even though I was once a blasphemer and a persecutor and a violent man, I was shown mercy because I acted in ignorance and unbelief.  The grace of our Lord was poured out on me abundantly, along with the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus.

Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners—of whom I am the worst.  But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his immense patience as an example for those who would believe in him and receive eternal life.  Now to the King eternal, immortal, invisible, the only God, be honor and glory for ever and ever. Amen.