Disappointment.....

I had a different post to share with you (I have been slacking and haven’t posted it yet).  But after this morning I just knew the reason I haven’t.

God had a different agenda for my post!

Lately my heart has been heavy.  It seems to come and go, but it is still there, this nagging feeling that slowly begins to swallow me deeper and deeper.  There are some days I can keep my head above water and others I slowly began to sink back into that pit.

Have you been there? 

Maybe you are there right now as you read this.  

That pit in your stomach, the thoughts that just won’t go away, slowly they began to take over and perhaps you start to believe them and you let it become your truth.

This morning was one of those mornings where my heart was just plain heavy.

It was heavy with disappointments, anger and sadness.

Now that I have my girls and I am a mother I have had to reface some of my “issues” with what I witnessed and experienced growing up and what I am still experiencing as we speak.

I have spent a good portion of my life striving to be bigger than all of these “issues”.  Telling myself it will be OK.  

But the truth is……

It hurts. 

 It absolutely is not what I wanted or would have ever asked for!!  In fact sometimes I just want to know why. 

Why me Jesus?

As I sat in church this morning I was reminded of Gods truth. 

Which let me just say I NEEDED IT and THANK YOU JESUS!!

The sermon was on unanswered prayers.

One of the many things that stood out to me was this:

God answers prayer, whether or not it seems to be for our comfort it is always for Gods glory!

As I sat there I was flooded with emotion.  Feelings of disappointments from my past present and the future began to flash through my mind.

As I thought about the statement on Gods glory it made me realize that Gods answer may not always bring me comfort.  But in the midst of the pain it can still bring Him glory.

It can be a lot easier to trust God when things in life seem to be going smoothly.  But what about trusting God with a circumstance you have been praying for and didn’t or haven’t received the answer you wanted?

 2 Corinthians 12:7-10

Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me.  Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me.  But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.  That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Did you hear that? 

 Three Times he prayed for God to take this thorn away, for it to be healed!  But God chose not to.  Not because He didn’t love him, but because He knew Paul would/could glorify Him.  Paul still chose to trust God despite his thorn.  Through his weakness he glorified God and people witnessed this.  They were able to see God and His goodness through Paul.

I just love this because I have a problem with feeling like I have to be strong, strong for myself and strong for others.  But the thing is, in my weakest moments is when I am truly saying, “God you are the strong one, not me.”  

It is OK to be weak, disappointed and sad with a situation or a “thorn” in your life.  Our God is a big God and He can handle our deepest hurts.  

 He knows why we hurt and how it will strengthen us.  

 He knows the prayers that will be answered the way we want and He knows the prayers that will never be answered the way we would like them.  

 His plan is bigger than any plan we could ever imagine!!

He is already there at the end of your life waiting on the other side. 

 He can see the finished you and me. 

 He wants nothing more than for us to glorify Him in the happy times, disappointing times, even in the midst of our deepest hurts and our happiest moments.  

There is nothing you will face that He hasn’t already faced for you. 

 That brings me so much comfort.

He knows your thorn.  He knows why it is there and why it may always be there. 

 He is asking you to trust Him and let His face shine in and through you!

On a side note the song from Casting Crowns called “Already There” is an amazing song and is a great visualization about life. 

 Adalay loves to belt this song out in the car with Dan and I and I just love it.  Nothing like watching your two year old child raise her hand to Jesus and scream the words “Already there” in her little two year old voice…….

Rest in knowing He has walked it for you already. 

Casting Crowns

 Already There

From where I'm standing
Lord it's so hard for me to see
Where this is going
And where You're leading me
I wish I knew how
All my fears and all my questions
Are gonna play out
In a world I can't control

Oh, oh

When I'm lost in the mystery
To You my future is a memory
Cause You're already there
You're already there
Standing at the end of my life
Waiting on the other side
And You're already there
You're already there

Oh, oh, oh, oh

From where You're standing
Lord, You see a grand design
That You imagined
When You breathed me into life
And all the chaos
Comes together in Your hands
Like a masterpiece
Of Your picture perfect plan

When I'm lost in the mystery
To You my future is a memory
Cause You're already there
You're already there
Standing at the end of my life
Waiting on the other side
And You're already there
You're already there

One day I'll stand before You
And look back on the life I've lived
I can't wait to enjoy the view
And see how all the pieces fit

One day I'll stand before You
And look back on the life I've lived
Cause You're already there
You're already there
When I'm lost in the mystery
To You my future is a memory
Cause You're already there
You're already there
Standing at the end of my life
Waiting on the other side
And You're already there
You're already there

You are already there