Galatians 5:1
It
is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let
yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.
Life is such a
magnificently beautiful journey!
A while back I told
you how I felt God was calling me to live in the deep with Him.
The deep is right where I found myself for
many months, although it felt like a half century.
Here is a small
portion of that post….
Living in the Deep
It’s easy to surrender and
trust when your feet are warm in the sand and the walls around your heart are
just high enough to keep the bad out, isn’t it?
But not so easy when you are
fighting for air in the deep and the waves are just about to engulf you. The very walls you have built to feel safe
are beginning to crumble.
It is then when you feel as if
you have sunk and the waves have taken over.
The walls we build around our hearts to protect ourselves, can be the
very walls God wants to break down to free you from a life of “safe” to a
surrendered life of trust in Him completely!
As I think back to
this time in my life I am reminded of the feeling of absolute fear that flowed
throw every aspect of my body.
I’m not
talking a healthy fear either; I’m talking the kind of fear that cripples a
spirit. I felt so out of control and it
had me panicking.
During this time I
decided to go and see a wonderful Christian counselor who helped me sort out my
thoughts.
She helped me to recognize
where a lot of my fears and anxiety stemmed from.
She encouraged me to open up a lot of past
wounds from childhood and walk through it so I could put emotion to the very
things I suppressed to keep myself safe.
The interesting thing about this process is I
really thought I had moved past all of that yuck and I was bigger than the
things that happened to me back then.
This was not an easy
process, actually it was really scary.
I
felt as if everything around me could just disappear in an instant as if it was
a fragment of my imagination.
I remember there
would be times when this overwhelming feeling would come out of nowhere and
make me feel as if everything around me was not real.
I felt so disconnected with reality as if I
was stuck somewhere else.
I read a book about
growing up in an addicted home and in this book they explain that children that
grow up in an addicted/dysfunctional home can experience post traumatic
syndrome.
This was so great to
hear because it was exactly what I felt.
I felt like I was back there, back where the
fear was real and I was in survival mode.
The walls we build around our hearts to protect ourselves, can be the
very walls God wants to break down to free you from a life of “safe” to a
surrendered life of trust in Him completely!
God was showing me
the very walls that kept me safe as little girl
where the walls that kept me bound up in chains as an adult and where
holding me back from experiencing the total freedom, love and grace He has for
me.
I share this with you
because change is hard.
It is a place most of us don’t want to walk
because it hurts.
So we hide.
Bury it deep in hopes
it won’t return.
We ask God to take it
away so we can move past it and I do believe He does take it away at
times. But I also believe He is after a
changed heart and a renewed mind.
We live in a society that tells us if you are experiencing
pain there is a quick fix for that.
Just package it in a
pretty box throw a bow on it and you will be ok.
Put on your mask and
continue on, right?
Might work for a
while, but there may come a day when He is calling you to look deeper.
Break down walls that
radiate safe in your heart but speak bondage to your loving Savior.
If you find yourself
face to face with the deep I pray that you will seek His face and trust that
even though you may feel like you are losing control He is in more control than
you can fathom.
He is holding onto you
with a steadfast love and He refuses to let go.
Hang on and know
there is something magnificently beautiful waiting on the other side.
Truth
Love
Freedom
Hope
Grace
Mercy
Peace
Jesus isn’t after
perfection He is after your heart.
He is
waiting for you to let go of what you are holding so tight to and reach out and
let Him take hold.
Galatians : 13-18
You, my brothers and
sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the
flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love. For the entire law is fulfilled in keeping
this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” If you bite and devour each other, watch out
or you will be destroyed by each other. So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not
gratify the desires of the flesh. For
the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is
contrary to the flesh. They are in conflict with each other, so that you are not
to do whatever you want. But if you are
led by the Spirit, you are not under the law.
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