Learning to love every part and giving my ALL

As I left church this morning I couldn’t break this overwhelming feeling of thankfulness.

This past week I have taken notice on how all this “change” stuff God has encouraged and pushed (ok maybe dragged is a better word) me through these past few years is beginning to take shape in my life.

I don’t say that in a selfish look at me kind of way, actually the exact opposite.

 The simple fact is I wouldn’t be where I am this very moment without the strength of my sweet Savior Jesus guiding me, leading me, many times carrying me through the darkest of days my heart has faced thus far in my glimmer of a life.

I am overwhelmed with gratitude for this man that bore all my shame, sin, and every wrong doing I have committed and all the yuck that has been committed against me.

The days can be dark.

They can be so dark it is hard to see that any light could even seize to exist inside of you.

The days can be surrounded by light.

Light that permeates to the very core of our being.

Here is the thing; I am so tired of this superficial surface living.  

I know there is something more, something more He is offering us.

  I no longer want to give God the parts that I see fit for Him; I want to give Him ALL of me.

I haven’t always felt this way in fact I have spent the majority of my life only offering God what I thought He would like to see.

It’s weird how that can happen.

  I know He already can see the parts I refused to give to Him but I still do it. 

 Maybe the truth is I don’t want to admit they are really still there. 

 It’s hard to face the parts of ourselves that our broken. 

 They are the parts we try to hide from. 

 We stuff them as far back into the recesses of our hearts as we possibly can, hoping they won’t EVER show there face AGAIN. 

Let’s just be honest it can be a whole lot easier to face the days if those parts stay hidden, right?

But eventually they begin to seep out.

They begin to pierce us. 

Why do I say this? 

 I have been there and it remains fresh in my mind.

It is not an easy place to be. 

It feels dark and cold and you feel alone. 

  I started thinking the other night of how sad it actually is when we hid parts of ourselves. 

How can we experience ALL that Jesus has to offer us if we aren’t willing to live exposed to Him.

What can begin to happen when we our willing to bring it ALL to Him?

  ALL the brokenness, mess, beauty, shame, happiness, disappointment, struggles, and doubts. 

 

What if we refused to stuff it back in the recesses of our hearts? 

 Instead we opened wide the very gates that keep this area guarded and let his love and light permeate ALL of our soul.

Instead of living on the surface we decided to live more connected and raw.

It is scary no doubt. 

 The very thought of it still makes a part of me want to crawl in a hole and hide.  But I refuse to anymore; it feels too good to live in His light.  The darkness can no longer win where there is light.

Even in the light the days can begin to get dark, but what is so neat is you begin to learn how to remain in the light and you watch the darkness begin to get dimmer and dimmer.  It no longer can win, it no longer controls. 

 Instead of sheltering the pain you begin to leave it exposed. 

ALL of you with Him

He has conquered it ALL.

His light can radiate through the darkest of dark.

There is nothing we can bring to Him that He doesn’t already know about.  

Today I am thankful for not only the days when the light radiates all the beauty, but even more I am thankful for the dark.  It was in the dark that God began to show me that His love for me is too GREAT to let me stay and live there.  

Thank you for continuing to teach me to be thankful in ALL circumstances.

If you feel like you are surrounded by the dark now I encourage you and am praying that you will continue to expose ALL of yourself.  Don't continue to bury it deep in the heart but open it up and expose it to the light.  I know it is scary but don’t forget He is there with you and if you allow Him He will help you break free and break through to something so beautiful.

 Romans 6:11-14

In the same way, count yourselves dead to sin but alive to God in Christ Jesus.  Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body so that you obey its evil desires.  Do not offer any part of yourself to sin as an instrument of wickedness, but rather offer yourselves to God as those who have been brought from death to life; and offer every part of yourself to him as an instrument of righteousness.  For sin shall no longer be your master, because you are not under the law, but under grace.

Romans 12:12

Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.

Fill me up – Jesus Culture

You provide the fire
And I’ll provide the sacrifice
You provide the Spirit
And I will open up inside

Fill me up, God
Fill me up,God
Fill me up, God
Fill me up

Love of God overflow
Permeate all my soul